Wednesday, November 14, 2012

¡Viva la secesión!

For as long as I can remember, Texas secession has always been a joke of sorts thrown about when Texans got tired of Washington. Growing up I remember seeing what was mostly pick up trucks with bumper stickers reading 'SECEDE'. Of course you could chalk that up to me having lived in Rockwall, the last bit of civilization east of Dallas and a decidedly I <3 Texas locale. However, Texans in general seem to all have the same idea: We don't need Washington.
Lately, Washington has been for lack of a better phrase, a CF. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that it was all Obama's fault because admittedly it wasn't, but he hasn't helped matters. Additionally, he has at nearly every chance he has gotten been a belittling bully to conservatives, a great many of which make up the Texas electorate. In light of his recent reelection, people from all 50 states have signed petitions asking to be granted peaceful secession from the Union. This is all completely ridiculous. Colorado seceding? It's landlocked by the  US of A and technically, but not really, has legalized weed. Just toke it up and chill out. You're not going anywhere. Rhode Island is going to secede? Really?
Texas on the other hand has a shot in hell at making it if it were to secede. For one thing, Texas has done it before. Granted it was 166 years ago and only lasted on its own for just under ten years, but what has South Dakota Fanning ever done that awesome? Nothing, and it never will. Texas again tried to pull off the whole riding solo thing (kinda) when it split from the Union to join the Confederacy. A month after Robert E Lee had surrendered at Appomattox, Texas was still fighting and not losing ground to the Northern Aggressors because they were a bunch of BAMFs.
Texas currently possesses 1/4 of the nation's oil reserves, 1/3 of the natural gas reserves and 95% of the country gets oil and gas from pipelines originating in Texas. Despite the recession, Texas has added one million new jobs, has more Fortune 500 companies than any other state and were Texas a country, it would have the 13th highest GDP in the world. Impressive, right? Texas has the Texas Guard, the Texas National Guard, the Air Guard and the Texas Rangers.

But legally can Texas secede? No. According to the 1845 Texas Annexation Agreement, Texas can if it chooses split itself up into 5 states, but who would want that? In the 1869 case of Texas v White, the Supreme Court decision held that no state had the right to secede from the Union. So... there goes that theory.
The basis of this is that if the petition were to get >25,000 signatures in the allotted time, the President's administration would be forced to adress it. Since it has, now Obama has to deal with that and Petraeus and Clinton leaving and Libya and the fiscal cliff and Sandy relief, etc... Almost feel sorry for him... Syke. All this did was put front and center to this administration that they may be in for a second term, but a lot of people are not happy about it. You can only bully, ignore and degrade a significant portion of the population for so long before they get completely fed up, and now we are.  Most people are not legitimately looking to secede. Governor Perry even lambasted the petitions aims, but you know even he got tickled at the idea of being the President of the Republic of Texas. I mean look at this guy, total bad A.
And finally, to all of those saying that anyone who signed these petitions should have their citizenship stripped, I am unfortunately Facebook friends with a fair number of you and I am well aware that you are the same people who tout like a badge of honor your I <3 illegal immigrants beliefs. I love a good slice of irony, don't you? It's a joke. This entire thing is a joke. Texas isn't going anywhere, and I don't want it to. 
** Currently, the petition for texas to secede has about 106,000 signatures and still has until December 9th to be signed by more people.

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